GOOP
by Mallovoriel
Summary: “My, my aren’t we just a little ray of sunshine today.” McKay said as Sheppard turned and silenced him with a glare.Thanks to my BETA Susie!
1. GOOP Its Only The Beginning

G.O.O.P.: Chapter 1

Disclaimer: sigh if I must… we own nothing but the plot… which I'm not quite sure I wish to lay claim to yet so………

A/N: Me and a friend of mine (jsgal24jag) are co-authoring this story. And she's about to run me up the wall about it too. Actually the idea was not originally ours but it was transferred into our loving care and I fear we may have abused it…

It was just another routine reconnaissance mission for AG-1. They had gone to yet another nameless planet (Ford wanted to call this one Ferngully because of the whole rainforest thing but…) in search of another ZPM. So far they'd had no luck at all. Unless you wanted to count the fact that they had found some weird alien… stuff, which they had yet to name.

Enter the leisurely (or in Sheppard's case frustrated) walk back to the jumper. 

"What do you mean you couldn't find it! You stuck me out in this damp jungle for," he looked at his watch, "Five hours and you still couldn't find it!" Major John Sheppard yelled as he stormed back.

"The map was simply too basic Major. It took you to the place to find the ZPM but there were no exact details. I had figured we could have located the device by now." Dr. Rodney McKay said as he struggled behind the rest of them as they headed back after another (in Sheppard's eyes failed) mission.

After the elder Elizabeth Weir had died, her younger and more attractive self had sent AG-1 to find the ZPM's that were on the list she had been given, and so far they had only managed to find one (but that was re-hidden by the inhabitant's of that planet). They were now on planet number 3.

"All we found was this Major." Lieutenant Aiden Ford said enthusiastically while holding up a containment vessel.

"What is it?"

"Well that we're not really sure about sir, but McKay thought we ought to bring some back for scientific purposes. It seems to be some kind of alien plant secretion and since a lot of plants have medicinal properties he thought Beckett might wanna see it." Ford said with his usual enthusiasm.

"A lot of plants are poisonous too." Sheppard replied in his usual sarcastic tone.

"My, my, aren't we just a little ray of sunshine today." McKay said as Sheppard turned and silenced him with one of his famous glares.

Sheppard turned back to Ford, "Ok, what are we calling it then," Ford started to open his mouth, "no wait you can't name it…" Ford huffed indignantly, "Teyla, what do you think we should call it?" Sheppard asked his mood improving slightly.

"I do not know Major Sheppard," which loosely translated as 'No Earthly clue.' "Perhaps you should ask Lieutenant Ford, he seems most willing to offer a suggestion." She added with a slightly evil grin.


	2. A Little Past The Beginning

G.O.O.P.

Chapter 2

Last Time…

"I do not know Major Sheppard," loosely translate 'no earthly clue.' "perhaps you should ask Lieutenant Ford he seems most willing to offer a suggestion." She added with a slightly evil grin.

Now…

The team was still arguing amongst themselves as they stepped back through the Stargate to Atlantis.

"I still think we should call it…" Ford started.

But Sheppard rudely cut him off, "I told you already, we're not calling it the great slime thing."

"Well, well what is it this time?" Elizabeth asked as a small smile appeared across her face when she greeted the team.

"We're not so sure yet…" Sheppard said looking at the… stuff with distaste.

"You brought something back to Atlantis and you don't even know what it is…" Elizabeth said disapprovingly.

"Well I know its not dangerous, cause if it was these two would be in trouble already," he said gesturing towards Ford and McKay.

"Besides, Rodney thought Beckett might wanna see it and I was in no mood to argue with him."

Elizabeth chuckled, "Who runs this team?" she asked amused.

John glared at her slightly, "Oh and they couldn't find the ZPM."

"They what?"

"Hey… I have a strange feeling I'm being insulted down there," yelled Rodney from the control room where he had gone to check up on things before going to his post-mission exam. Ford and Teyla had already left to take the 'substance' down to Beckett.

"You're being paranoid again," John yelled back to Rodney.

"Hey, just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean that yal aren't out to get me."

John rolled his eyes and whispered something to Elizabeth conspiratorially.

"See, I rest my case," he stated before leaving.

"Well you better get down there," Elizabeth said starting to slowly walk back up to the control room.

John turned to leave.

"Oh and the debriefings in an hour," she yelled after him.

The Perfect Chicken: boo-yah! In your face! Buck-ah! Indeed… keep reading or else…

Random person: or else what?

The Perfect Chicken: what the? Bastard! Take my threat for what it's good for!

Random person???

The Perfect Chicken: take it and go…

Mallo: now, now… what have I told you about threatening the reviewers…

A/N: shout-outs…

thaz nice- um… not quite sure what to say to that… yes I'm fine. I should hope its interesting that's what we're going for here. I'm sry?

Delles( )- close, very close… but no cigar

Rangerfan1994- I would hope you like the rest of it too…

Jsgal24JAG- sure ya did… you had the opportunity to put whatever you wanted on the authors note last chap but you didn't even email me back… as you can see I got The Perfect Chicken to fill in the blank for me…


	3. Past the Beginning But Not Yet The Middl

Chapter 3

Last Time…

"Well you better get down there," Elizabeth said starting back up to the control room.

John turned to leave.

"Oh and the debriefings in 1 hour," she yelled after him.

In The Infirmary…

"Beckett!" Ford yelled as he walked through Atlantis' infirmary door.

"He's through there," Everett said pointing at Beckett's office just as Carson walked out.

"What did you do?" Ford asked directing his question to Everett, momentarily forgetting the containment vessels he held in his hands.

Everett, for his part, was in pretty bad shape… he took 'beaten to a bloody pulp' to a whole new level at this moment. "Some weird changeling on the last planet we went to. He impersonated one of my team members and well…"

Flashback

"Dial it up guys!" Everett yelled moving to stand in front of the DHD.

They quickly dialed up the gate and went through. Everett waited for what he thought was the last man to go before he turned around to see if everyone had left. He noticed the new lieutenant standing on the edge of the clearing. He struggled to remember the mans name, "LIEUTENANT MCCORMICK, FRONT AND CENTER, FAILURE TO COMPLY WITH MY EARLIER ORDER WILL HAVE YOU COURTMARTIALED. IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR BUTT THROUGH GATE NOW I'LL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER GO THROUGH IT AGAIN!"

As the impersonator turned towards him the changeling morphed back.

Flashback

That was the last thing he remembered before waking up in the infirmary in his current condition.

JSgal: Ok, so we know it was just a little over the top, but we (as in mallo and myself) hate the bd


End file.
